A.J. Lass

“One time I was on a Boy Scout trip, and we got out a bunch of snacks and stuff because we weren’t going to have supper that night. There was a one pound block of cheese, a box of crackers, and some other cheeses and stuff. So I take the one pound block of cheese and I go sit on a picnic table with it. I open it up and I’m about to cut off a slice when I see a hoard of young teenagers and tweenagers charging after me with pocket knives–closed, because I had taught them well–so I just took off and ran into the woods.  It was a horrifying experience. So I run into the woods, down a ravine, and up the other side a couple hundred yards out on the other side of the ravine and all the children were still coming up the other side of the ravine, so I went wide and I came back down the ravine further up and went back to the campsite.  About half an hour later they came back.”