The flu has struck again this year and I have compiled a list of how to avoid being sick.

• Take a bath in a tub full of hand sanitizer.
• Live in a HAZMAT suit.
• Become Bubble Boy.
• Never have contact with the outside world.
• Hand out Clorox Disinfecting Wipes to your classmates as you walk down the hallway.
• Make people sanitize their phones before and after calling you.
• Carry Lysol around with you and spray every surface you have the potential of coming into contact with.
• Keep special doorknob gloves with you to put on before touching any doorknobs. Wash them regularly.
• Do not allow people to breathe on you and if they disobey, spray their face with the before-mentioned Lysol.
• If you catch yourself sneezing, check yourself into the hospital immediately.

Good luck and stay healthy. Hope to see you all next week, assuming the flu hasn’t taken you.