Easy solutions to everyday problems


Natalie Larimer, Online Sub-Editor

Administration has cracked down on the rules this year, and there are new problems that our administrators and teachers face. Good news though, I have the answer to everything they worry about.

Lanyards: To fix the problem of people not wearing their lanyards, issue a school uniform Ryan Kramme style and have us all wear our ID’s on a t-shirt. Giant scanners required.

Parking Passes: Somebody doesn’t have a parking pass and parked in the parking lot? Tow their car.

Homework: Students not doing homework? Expel them. They are not worth it. Protect the reputation of the school and send those students over to Urbandale.

Bad Teaching: Somebody claims you’re a bad teacher? Start teaching your class. (Oh wait, sorry that was really absurd. I need to be realistic).

Skipping: To prevent skipping, patrol the hallways and catch the strays. Leave your entire class alone for the whole period and hunt down that one kid who will only glare at you the whole time.

Attitude: Bad attitudes can easily be fixed by yelling relentlessly at the student. They don’t respect you? Disrespect them.

These are simple ways to fix the problems that we all face. I don’t understand why we don’t use these solutions. (Sarcasm heavily applied on most of this.)