After a couple months of quarantine I was on FaceTime with a friend, and I just started doing my makeup. Boredom had set in. I went over to my little makeup station, and I started doing stuff on my face. Not just regular makeup, but cool makeup and wild makeup. I applied pink eye shade. I drew gold tears where tears go. The gold idea sprang from the song “Tears of Gold” by Faouzia, which I was listening to. Next, I applied gold lipstick. 

This made me feel good. It took time, and I looked pretty.

It become my hobby. I started doing it everyday. I mean, every, single day. I started off with small stuff, but went big. My makeup changed a lot from before quarantine and even changed during quarantine. 

Makeup has always been a part of my life. I mean, I am a 17-year-old girl. Some of us do some sort of makeup. All my friends have at least one item of makeup on them everyday. Whether it is eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, blush, etc. they always have some makeup on. 

My makeup had never been wild or cool. It was just there. Once quarantine hit, I was just sleeping and watching TV, nothing special. A lot of my friends had started to pick up new hobbies, and I was still just sleeping on my couch. They started dancing, singing, painting, designing.

I needed a hobby.

It is now more than a hobby. It is my medicine. Being stuck in my house made my depression skyrocket. I was sad all the time, and I would just sleep so I did not have to deal with it. I had gotten so depressed that I had relapsed into self harm. My makeup saved my life. It made me happier. 

My makeup was never random. I put my emotions into all of my makeup. I had one look where it looked like I was crying blue glitter. It meant that I was sad, but I was getting better and so the blue represented how sad I still was and the glitter represented how I was getting better.

I had another look that was just red and black. It was to show that I was having a worse day. It looked like a regular makeup look, but to me it wasn’t. My favorite look I put a landscape on my face because it was when I finally felt better and the meaning of it was that I felt “free”. I drew flowers along my chin and clouds on my cheeks. Landscapes for me, like a field of flowers, are an escape. Somewhere to run freely.

Makeup has become my life. I now even match it to my outfits. It is harder to do when you go to school because of those pesky masks. They hide my beautiful work.