Shipp might just yank her hair out over this column, but I’m going to write it anyway. I am so close to being done with high school that I can physically taste the freedom, and not in the general American way. While I am so excited to be done and have been counting down the days since senior year started, I will miss some things. So I’d like to take this opportunity to share some weird stories from my high school career for sheer entertainment. Buckle up, it’s going to be a wild ride.

Way back during sophomore year I was at Science Olympiad at the middle school with my fellow nerds after school. I was just leaving when I decided to stop in Madame Andrew’s room to say hey, finding nobody there. Since I was just heading to the front of the school, I realized it would be way easier to just go through the french room window, so I did. Now, I wasn’t the only one there, but I won’t name my comrades. So we crawled on out and turned to face Officer Jensen looking pretty angry and heading straight towards us. Whoops. She said she’d call our parents but never did so I guess I got away with this one, besides the many jokes we tell.

Speaking of Science Olympiad, sophomore year during our competition at Coe College, we were all eating in the cafeteria when my team called me and said I was almost late to one of our events. I quickly threw away my leftovers and headed towards the nearest exit, which for some reason I didn’t realize had stop signs all over it. So as I opened it, alarms went off and lights flashed. This time I didn’t get arrested, I just had an entire cafeteria stare at me for a good five minutes.

Then there’s that time junior year when I was skipping PE to write a newspaper story (this was not condoned by anybody from the J-lab) and I was in the library when my teacher, the one and only Dave Beason, came right in and just looked at me and laughed. I ended that week with three detentions under my belt (might not have been the first time I skipped).

We can’t forget about the time I was walking out of Stats or Pre-Calc or something junior year and somebody cut me off as I was walking and so my first instinct was to go up on my tip-toes and giggle. Right into their ear. I don’t know why that was a thing. That was just unfortunate.

Or junior year when I overslept for the AP US History final and emailed my teacher saying my car wouldn’t start so he would let me come in during the make-up session after school.

Then there’s that day this year that Oldham let me wear his safety goggles the whole day and told me that when somebody asked why, I would respond with, “Why aren’t you? They’re coming, you have to prepare yourself.” I couldn’t get that out without laughing.

And of course Spring Fling week this year where I dressed up as sarcastically as possible with my meninist outfit for character day, Joni Ernst™ bread bags for Iowan day, carrying around my fish Alpha in a cup for animal day and, of course, my future day sign which showed how much debt I’ll be in after grad school.

I’m sure there’s way more that I could share with you but this could become a novel. Sorry to anyone I accidentally offended or screwed over, and thank you to everyone for putting up with me.

And since this is my last column, I guess I’ll announce that it’s not. I’m keeping my column after high school at larimerslogic.com because I am too lame to do anything else with my life. Follow my column Twitter account @larimerslogic if you want updates. Have a fun life.