All h-e-double hockey stick broke loose on March 25. Singer Zayn Malik left the boy band One Direction. Okay, please do not judge me for liking them even though I am 18 years old. I have been a fan since freshman year and have been to one of their concerts.

When I found out that he left, I was honestly not that shocked because all boy bands dissolve over time. However, after time went on I started going through the five stages of grief.

The first stage is denial. I started to tell myself ‘He’ll come back. He just needs a bit of time off.” Zayn maybe just wants to go home for a bit and then he might come back refreshed. Unfortunately, we all know he’s not coming back. Why would he? There’s no point really. It would be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved.

The second stage is anger. I was driving home from school and ‘Night Changes’ came on the radio. I just started screaming curse words at the radio. ‘Screw you Zayn!’, and more explicit sayings that are not appropriate for this piece. The reason I was upset was mostly due to the fact that I had spent money on going to their concert and that I somehow felt abandoned. At least I did not buy tickets to their concert this coming July. Another thing that made me angry was that he left because he wanted a ‘normal 22-year-old life’. There is no way he is going to have a normal life.  A normal 22-year-old might be graduating from college and finding a job. Zayn will be looking for another mansion and Maserati which is clearly different. There’s no “normal” in that.

The third stage is bargaining. I will sell one of my kidneys to bring Zayn back. I’m kidding, I’m not really going to sell my kidney because that is ridiculous and I have some class. But some girls on the Internet have been taking it to a whole new level. #CutForZayn was a trend on Twitter the day he left. Why? What goes through your mind to cause you to do this? Zayn is not going to personally see your tweet and be like ‘Oh, she did this for me I’m going to join the band again!’. Please do not harm yourself over a former boy band member.

The fourth stage is depression, however I did not go through a depression. I did get quite sad when I heard “You and I” on the radio at work. Zayn is known for hitting those high notes and holy crap he sounds like Jesus. But once the song ended I was done being sad and moved on.

The fifth stage is acceptance. I have accepted that Zayn does not want to come back to the band and I’m at the point now where I am kind of over it. He left, and that is that.

Now that Zayn is gone, some are asking what will happen to the rest of the band. I think they aren’t going to last much longer and the only thing holding them together is Harry Styles. If Harry left, there would no longer be a band. Harry Styles is the face of the band, and definitely the most popular. Without him the band would fall into a black hole.

They could also find someone to fill Zayn’s spot. I personally think Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson could step in. If they added him to the group the ticket sales would start to target an older audience and they could make more money. I think I should take over as their manager.

Not long after he left, Soundcloud released a single by Zayn and Naughty Boy called “I Won’t Mind”. Less than 12 hours later the song was taken down. To be honest, the song was crap. Also, why would you release something that quickly after leaving? I want to know how Harry Styles feels.

Instead of #ripzayn, it should be #prayforzayn because he’s going to need all the help he can get trying to find another job.