During the Like, Love, and Lack Thereof series, I have talked about both the good and bad parts of high school relationships. To finish off the trilogy, I have interviewed a few people to talk about their thoughts on having no experience in the dating world.
Why the Single Life?
Many people question the intentions of staying single. Some say it is a personal choice and some say they just cannot pull anyone interesting. I found that many people explained it as a combination of both. One interviewee said,
“It isn’t really a personal choice. I’m not actively searching for anything but I’m not declining either.”
Because we are so young, it is a recurring pattern that students simply do not feel a big rush to start anything. With many students attending college next year, they will be introduced to many new people and it may be easier to start on a fresh foot with a stranger than to randomly approach someone you have known, and never spoken to, for years.
“I just keep telling myself, ‘What would be the point of starting something now?’ I feel like I’m too logical to start something at this point. It’s fun to have little crushes now and then but it’s not worth it.”
Sometimes, it is easiest to just daydream about the perfect someone and not have to deal with the serious and difficult parts of a relationship.
“The only examples of relationships I have come from media and books and movies and tv shows so I feel like I have a really unrealistic expectation when it comes to that sort of thing.”
High Expectations
Several of the people I talked to said that they have given themselves the expectation of having the perfect first relationship and, with that, may have turned away some people. It is okay to have standards for yourself and the relationships you hold, but sometimes it is helpful to realize what one of my interviewees said,
“At some point you have to accept that it doesn’t really exist because it’s real life not a movie.”
It is fun to watch funny rom coms and expect a glorious Glen Powell to enter your life, but real life is not as perfect as it is in the movies.
No Rush!
Some of my interviewees did get a little sad when they had to admit they were slightly lonely. Having no experience with dating can be an upsetting topic, but sometimes it is okay to take time for yourself. There is no rush, especially at this age, to start, or settle for, anything.
Sometimes it is helpful to work on yourself and also to just spend time with friends and build up those relationships.
“I have my involvement in things in school and my ambitions to get good grades, and also I feel like my life is already full with other types of relationships like friends and family. So it’s not an empty spot in my life.”
In high school we have a lot going on and have to balance our school, work, and extracurricular activities with our physical, mental, and social health. It may take a while to figure out how to best get our priorities straight and mixing a committed relationship into all of it could be too much to handle for some.
Just remember that everyone moves at their own pace, and there is someone out there who is perfect for you. Whether you have been in many relationships or none, the dating world is not easy; however, I have found through writing this series that it sure is entertaining.
I hope you have enjoyed reading about some of JHS stu
dents’ dating experiences as much as I have, and maybe you learned something useful along the way.
