10 Blind Dates by Ashley Elston

I spent a good portion of this book terrified that the main character was going to go out with her cousin. 

A Holly Jolly Diwali by Sonya Lalli

This was not a holly jolly experience. 

This book follows the Halmark Channel Christmas movie formula to a T, aside from the fact that it has the most underwhelming and disappointing ending that I’ve ever seen in a romcom before. 

For starters, the main character, Niki, is the classic big city workaholic who apparently didn’t know poverty existed before. With the added bonus that she, at 29, still lives with her parents. After continuously slut-shaming her older sister, she gets laid off from her job and takes a spontaneous trip to India for her best friend’s conveniently timed wedding. Do not let the title of the book fool you: Diwali, a Hindu holiday, is talked about in exactly one chapter of this book and is nothing more than the day she meets the “charming” love interest. I say “charming” because, much like other books on this list, he has little more personality than the dry toast I ate for breakfast this morning. 

After knowing the love interest, Sam, for approximately two weeks—knowing him, not dating him—Niki is prepared to throw her entire life away and move to another country to be with him. When she informs Sam of this plan, he is, understandably, a little hesitant. Both of them are in uncertain times of their lives at that point, neither entirely sure where to go or what to do next. Sam mentions that it probably wouldn’t be a great idea to uproot themselves when they’re both unemployed and now living with their parents. Niki takes this to mean that he actually hates her and does not want to be with her, so she dramatically flees the country to return home to her life. 

All of this for absolutely no development to happen at all with either of the characters, then Sam shows up at her house on Christmas with a complete change of heart and fully ready to pursue the relationship that they both pretty much decided they weren’t ready for. Happily ever after.

Talk Santa to Me by Linda Urban

Don’t talk to me at all. 

The main character of this book is named Frankincense, was born in a stable, works at her family’s Christmas store, and lives in a town called Hollydale. Need I say more?

What Light by Jay Asher

The fact that Colleen Hoover read this book and rated it 5/5 stars should be enough of a review. 

You can tell this book is written by a man because there is a part where the male love interest leads the main character into an alleyway and she isn’t the least bit concerned for her safety. Speaking of the love interest—you know how men in books often have some sort of tragic past that explains why they push people away or why they’re “damaged”? Yeah, so the tragic past that this guy has is the fact that he chased his little sister with a knife. Yep. Just. Came at her with a knife. When she was twelve. They justify this throughout the book by repeating that he never would have actually used the knife, he just wanted to scare her to shut her up. Arguably, I’m not sure that makes the situation much better. 

Oh by the way, this is the same author who wrote that book romanticizing a teenage girl committing suicide (13 Reasons Why).