It has finally happened. School has gotten to the point of being almost unbearable. Call it early on-set Senioritis or whatever, but I have lost the motivation to do all things school.

I have always been one of those kids who actually enjoyed going to school and learning new things. When I got to high school I managed to hold on to that. I may have complained a lot last year about classes, but honestly who does not?

Last year, I do not want to say I coasted through my classes but they were not necessarily hard. My junior year has been tough. I am not doing the best in all of my classes, however I cannot find the motivation to fix it. I have not been able to care enough to go in an do the necessary things to retake a test. I am going through my classes on autopilot. I keep telling myself I will work harder tomorrow but that is what I keep telling myself and I never seem to pull it off.

Things that I enjoy and love to do currently just feel like a chore. I love my instrument and throughly enjoy playing. Yet,I have not found the motivation to practice outside of school for almost a month. I am disappointed in myself but I just keep making up excuses to not practice.

I feel like I have not attempted to make personal connections with my teachers as well. I felt really connected to my teachers last year and enjoyed talking about things with them. This year I feel I have not reached out to make those connections, and I think that has affected my motivation in those classes.

This past week has been particularly bad. I have received bad scores on a couple of tests, and I am trying to find the time to retake even though I just do not want to. The school had to register for classes next year but I could not decide what to take because I have not decided what I want to do when I leave high school. I also have had some trouble outside of school with my car, phone and family. I have just been overwhelmed.

I do not know what stemmed the loss of my motivation however, I do know that if I cannot find a way to gain it back my grades, passions and future will be in jeopardy.